My dishwasher decided

to clean the floor today. Normally it just washes dishes but today it must have decided to branch out. I went upstairs while it was running to find a gigantic puddle of water from the dishwasher all over the kitchen floor. Then I had to mop up the floor with towels leaving it sparkling clean. I hope it learns the mopping up part next. Stupid dishwasher.

I want to put a sign

in front of the store that says "No Mean People." That way we only have nice people that come to shop. Then again, do you think mean people even know they are mean?

I noticed I feel much

better when I'm not sick. At least being sick provides contrast to not being sick, right?

Yeah, I've got

nothing for today. I do have a sore throat though. I'm sure you wanted to hear about that.

Moose (my dog) recently

got fixed, so now he has to wear a big purple cone on his head. Now every time I walk him everyone laughs at me. It is really quite embarrassing. Moose doesn't seem to mind though.

The lady that cuts my hair

brought up a good point today. Why is it that to-go meals are not cheaper than eat-in meals? You don't have to pay a server, a busser, a food runner or anything else you would have to pay for if you ate in the restaurant. To-go food should be at least 30% cheaper than eat-in meals. I think we should pass a bill...

I just noticed that

my bank is charging me $3.00 a month on my savings account because it is "interest bearing." That makes no sense because I only get $0.02 interest a month, making it absolutely pointless for it to be an interest bearing account. I wonder if I should tell them I don't want interest anymore or if I should just take all my money out of that account to see what happens? I have yet to figure out why this bank wants to charge for me to get interest. Maybe that is why banks are in so much trouble? It is pretty bad when keeping money under my mattress is better than putting it in the bank....

Today I walked into the

weight room and country music was playing on the radio. There was no one there at the time so I decided to change it because no one should ever have to lift weights while listening to country. I put the radio on scan and it went clear around the dial and right back to the country station. I thought that was a little weird so I looked behind the radio to find the antenna unplugged, so I plugged it in. Now the radio got three stations but they were all either country or talk. About that time two guys walked in and suggested I try manually entering a couple of stations. It didn't work so we decided to leave it on country and turn it way down. After 5 minutes I couldn't take it so I decided to go to my car and grab some CD's. I don't label my burned CD's so I just grabbed three at random. I went back in and popped the disks in. It turns out all the CD's I grabbed were death metal that someone had burned for me. Then I noticed a sign saying that anyone caught playing music with illicit lyrics will be asked to leave. So I let it play.  The guys eventually left and more people kept coming in so I just kind of pretended I didn't know anything about the music and just kept working out. I completed my workout then left, leaving the three death metal CD's playing. I'm such a rebel.

I think the Easter Bunny

was secretly made up by dentists as an evil plot to get more business. I could be completely wrong though.

I really want to meet the

person who thought it was a good idea to make slanted parking places in parking lots. You know, the ones were they have arrows and all the parking places are only accessible when you follow the arrows. It seems like every time I get into a parking lot like that I end up going the wrong way or another car is going the wrong way towards me. So yeah, I would love to have a conversation with the slanted parking spot designer person and tell them that they are a moron and make them repaint all the slanted parking lots.

Every time I think really hard for

a while or concentrate on something for a long time I get a headache. I think it is my brain's way of telling me that it hates me and that it's going to go on strike.

My college roommate got a

ticket for riding his unicycle on the sidewalk in New York City. It's funny because the NYC law clearly states that bicycle operation on sidewalks is prohibited. It also defines a bicycle in case you are unsure of what a bicycle is: "(1) The term "bicycle" shall mean a two or three wheeled device upon which a person or persons may ride, propelled by human power through a belt, a chain or gears, with such wheels in a tandem or tricycle." Yep, that was pulled right from their website. I'm glad the officer was good at counting the wheels on the unicycle.

The fortune in the cookie

that came with my Chinese food last night should have read: Chinese food is like a playground slide, it is only fun when going down.

I wore shorts today

for the first time since fall. It was nice but I was self conscious about my legs because they haven't seen sun in about 6 months. Sorry if you were blinded by my white.