I went with my gf to Babies

R Us last night to help her get gifts for her friend's baby shower. I haven't felt that awkward since I walked in on a bridal shower and they thought I was a stripper. 

My mom sat on my cheap pair

of sunglasses that I have had for years and completely destroyed them. I really didn't mind because they were cheap and I figured I could replace them easily. Well, I went to every store in Zanesville looking for cheap sunglasses but I couldn't find any for men. I found lots of women's sunglasses but they looked really stupid on me so I kept looking. I finally found some that would work at a sporting goods store but they were $20.00! I probably would have paid $10.00 for them because they were not worth $20, so I decided to keep looking. It really sucks not having sunglasses because I live to the west of where I work so my drives to and from work both face the sun. I think my retnas are now fried because I have been without sunglasses now for well over two months. I finally decided to buy some online because I got desparate from driving not being able to see anything. I paid $40.00 but they are a really good name brand, polarized, and should withstand being sat on by my mom. I figure $40.00 is a cheap price to pay for my sanity, not looking like a moron wearing girl's sunglasses, and being able to see when I drive. 

Have you ever looked

at a urinal cake and thought to yourself "gee, that looks like it would be fun to play hockey with?" I can't be alone on this one. 

When I grow up I

want to have an accent. Maybe English or Irish or Australian. All the chicks would dig it.

I went skiing yesterday

in a group of five people. Two of the people in the group had the same name as me. Needless to say, it got a little confusing at times.

A lady said "cool beans"

to me today. She was a good bit older than me so it didn't quite sound right coming from her. I didn't know how to react so I just pretended I didn't hear it.

I just realized that

besides collecting toe jam and growing, toe nails are basically useless.

I have bad allergies

in the fall and have to get shots every couple of weeks so I don't get hay fever. Winter has never bothered my allergies which is probably one of the reasons I like it so much. Well, they started shooting me up with a new vial of junk at the doctor's office and now I have had hay fever for the past 2 days. It is very unpleasant. The shots are supposed to prevent hay fever, not cause it, right? Oh well, I am going to go blow my nose.

If you ever want to see

a movie that is guaranteed to make you question the sanity of everyone involved in it and yourself for watching it, I highly recommend the new "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I watched it the other night and am still freaked. 

I think Valentine's day

is an evil plot by women to get men in trouble.

The power has been off here

since Wednesday and it finally came back on today. I stayed at my parents house last night mainly so I could shower. Well, I took my toiletry kit with me for obvious reasons and when I started to get ready for bed tonight I realized I left it there. That sucks because all my important bathroom stuff is in there, like deodorant. I feel like a moron.

I learned something new yesterday.

You can't buy stamps at the post office after hours anymore. They used to have these machines that you could put money in and get stamps out but they removed them. I had to drive 2 miles to the nearest grocery store to get stamps. Then it turns out that the grocery store doesn't have a mail box so I had to drive all the way back to the post office to mail the letters. I am very angry at the post office right now and will probably start paying all my bills online. Thanks post office.

I had to wire a light

to a 3 way switch today. Who would have thought anything could be so complicated? I figured it out and only got shocked twice. I think getting shocked is at least 2 times more stimulating than caffeine.

Underpants Sale!!!

Underpants Sale

Use The Online Coupon Code "UNDERPANTS" (without quotes) upon checkout and get 15% off your entire order!

1. This offer is good on online retail purchases only.

2. This coupon is only for use online.

3. This is the strangest sale we have ever had.

4. The UNDERPANTS coupon code expires 2/17/09 so hurry.

5. The gnomes have nothing to do with underpants unless you watch South Park.

6. Zanesville Pottery does not and probably never will sell underpants.

7. That is all.

This is an e-mail I received today:

so Jason received skippy peanut butter for christmas along with a special spreader for pb&j and so as usual when i want a snack i nice teaspoon of pb and eat it.  skippy - not so good.  So I decided not to finish the spoon and dropped the remainder in the trash and put the spoon filled with pb in the dishwasher.  It came out clean as a whistle. 

now my question is, can i put the whole jar in the dishwasher so i can get back to my jif? 

Happy Tuesday!

This is my Response:

Have you ever thought about the phrase "clean as a whistle?" How can something you blow on be clean? If I were walking around and saw a whistle on the ground the last thing I would want to do it put it in my mouth on it and blow. I might consider it after thoroughly cleaning it with bleach at least twice. I think I would be more inclined to put my own fingernail clippings in my mouth rather than blow on a strange whistle.

As for the peanut butter jar thing, I think you would be much more amused if you scooped it out and left it in the toilet. Then if you had the burning desire to clean the jar the rest of the way, you could put it in your awesome peanut butter eating dishwasher. Simply putting the peanut butter filled jar in the dishwasher would lose far to much comedic value.

Happy Wednesday!

I washed my car tonight

and successfully turned the driveway into an ice rink. My gf will be mad but at least I can tell that my car is blue.

I hate February, not because

it is cold and winter (I like winter) but because it is hard to spell and it has a silent "r." How many normal words have a silent "r?" I can't think of any. It should be spelled Febuary.