It was pointed out to me

that there are things you can give to people that make them dumb; like gloves. People will pick up anything as long as they are wearing gloves. Things like glowing metal, boards covered in nails and burning wood. Even with the gloves are inappropriate for the task.

You know those signs that

say "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service?" What about pants? I would be much rather wait on someone without shoes that I would someone without pants.

My college roommate took up

unicycling and it sounds like the coolest thing ever. I think I am going to have to get one. That and a helmet.

I read a good quote today:

"Never cut your own hair after drinking three margaritas." I couldn't have said it better myself.

I saw a bumper sticker today that said

"eat more muskrat." I am still trying to figure that one out.

I had to help my Grandpa

change a sink today and I think most of the sink ended up in my hair.

I have no idea why I was thinking this

today but why is it "The Twelve Days of Christmas?" Christmas is only one day as far as I know. So would the first day be on the 25th or would the twelfth day? I'm confused.

Did you ever get the feeling

that Grandpa's on tractors are trying to kill you? I do. Not just one either, both of them. I nearly died 12 times yesterday from "Grandpa on tractor" related incidences.

Gas is getting too expensive.

I think I am going to stop using it. Cold turkey.

Just for the record,

I hate cement figurines. Always have, always will.

I spent most of yesterday

night cleaning my kitchen. It was spotless until I dumped a bag of pretzels all over my oven just now. I really should invest in some clothes pins or something to seal bags.

I completely forgot about

Mother's Day. Actually I didn't, I just forgot to put it on here. I guess I didn't really forget, I just wasn't around a computer on Sunday.  So if it is bugging you, happy Mother's Day from Sunday.

At the coffee shop this morning

they had a question of the day; "what is your name, who is your role model and why?" I told them my name and then told them that it was too profound a question to answer that early in the morning. I felt like such a tool.

Ordering a tall coffee

is really deceiving. It's not tall, it is the shortest one they make. I wonder what I would get if I ordered a short?

A concert just isn't a concert unless

your ears are ringing the rest of the night and you have to wait forever in traffic in a parking lot.

If I were a chemistry teacher,

I would start every class with "Today we are going to blow up ......."

Do you think the preacher cares

that I fall asleep in church whenever I go? I hope he thinks I am praying.

I was just thinking,

reading what I write here might not be horribly great for your health. I probably should have put a disclaimer about that on here somewhere. Sorry you are finding out now.