Do you think if we changed

the name of Monday to something else it would be any better?

A friend called from

Colorado today to gloat about a giant snowstorm they are having. All we get around here is rain, ice, and humidity. I'm so going to move.

I told my neighbor

that I ride a unicycle and now I am afraid he thinks I'm a moron.

I can't stand it when

people use the word "incidentally" to change topics in the middle of a conversation. Right now I am on the phone with my Grandpa and he has done it twice already.

After a certain age,

I believe it should be illegal to wear body glitter.

A group of girls in the store

the other day told me they live in Florida but came to Ohio for spring break. I looked at them funny. They said they have gotten that reaction their entire trip. I wonder why?

I wanted to have Irish

coffee at work today but it got rejected. Work would be so much better with Irish coffee, wouldn't you agree? I think I am going to spray paint something green in protest.

I played kickball with

a giant exercise ball the other day. It is pretty much the coolest thing I have ever done.

I have to go to a conference tomorrow

that will probably be really boring. I tend to fall asleep when people give lectures so I am a little nervous that I'll pass out and snore. They said I could bring a laptop so hopefully that will keep me occupied long enough that I don't fall asleep. Oh well, I'll probably sleep anyway.

The gf and I got a puppy on

Friday. His name is Moose. He is really nice and cute but is having gas issues. Tonight the gf and I were trying to bottle wine we made and the dog kept passing horrid gas. It made my eyes burn. We decided if we ever open an winery we would call it "Stinky Moose." We would probably translate it to Italian to make it sound better though.

I think I overheard some girls saying

that I had a robot voice. I've never been self-conscious about my voice but now I am. Of course, there is a remote chance they wern't talking about me but it is only a remote chance. I think I am going to stop talking altogether now. I can do a pretty good Kermit the Frog voice so maybe I'll just talk like that when I really have to. I wonder which is worse, having a robot voice or a Kermit the Frog voice? I am so confused.  

I ordered a case of Girl Scout

cookies this year, 6 for me and 6 for my parents. They finally came the other day so I quickly opened the case to eat some. I picked up a box of Thin Mints and immediately noticed they are smaller! I spent $36.00 on 12 small boxes of Girl Scout cookies, so I am mad, really mad. It gets to me when companies make things smaller and keep the price the same rather than raising the prices. It makes me feel that they think I am stupid and won't notice. You know what? I notice!!! I am not stupid and would much rather they be honest, keep things the same size, and raise the friggin' price! Yes Little Brownie Bakers, if you would have raised your prices to $4.00 a box and kept them the same size I would have bought just as many and been fine with it. But no, some marketing moron decided that $4.00 a box would be too much and that people would be more willing to pay $3.50 and get less. That is like a gas station deciding to sell .75 gallons of gas for $2.50 and hoping no one will notice instead of raising their price to $3.33 a gallon. I want to know how much money they were able to save after they paid the graphic artists to shrink the artwork down for the new boxes, retooled the machines and made new dies for cutting, folding, and moving smaller cookie and case boxes, and redesigned the plastic cookie holder things inside the cookie boxes. While they figure that out I'm going to the grocery store to get what the magic elves that live in the tree are selling. I think next year I'll just donate $20.00 (the Girl Scouts get 1/3 of the money from the sale of each box, so I'l be hooking her up) to the girl and call it a day.

I found a great way to boost

your self-esteem. Go to a gym that has fancy digital stationary bikes. Enter your age as 92 years old. Look at your results after 20 minutes of bike riding and compare it to the results of someone else that age. I did it and now I feel great!!

I wonder how many

great ideas can be attributed to the use of coffee? I bet it is more than two.