Reverse Christmas List

I have made a list of things never to get me for Christmas. Here they are in no particular order: Celine Dion Christmas Albums, Cats, Cement Figurines, Orange Camoflage, Christmas Lights (unless they never go bad), Mac and Cheese, Tide Detergent, and Copy Machine Toner. That is all for now. 

Headache

I've had a headache all day today and I can't figure out why. I think it is sinus related because my sinuses hate me. It needs to hurry up and get cold and snow so I can breathe again. Strange how that works, isn't it?

Reality TV

I had a dream about a reality TV show that was unlike anything on the air. It was really detailed too. Too bad I don't know the first thing about TV or film or else I would pitch it to a television company. If anyone needs a reality TV show idea that is completely awesome and wants to split the profits made let me know. Why do all these crazy things go through my head? I think I need to lay off the caffeine.

Gross

We found something quite disgusting on the ground the other day in the parking lot. It was one of those gross yet funny things that make you want to gag and laugh at the same time. I took a picture but I can't post it do to the nature of the item. Use your imagination.

Christmas Lights

How is it that Christmas lights get so tangled up after sitting in a box for a year? Also, what happens to them in the box that make them magically not work? I think the Anti-Christmas light fairy comes and sabotages them. That or the people who make Christmas lights make them fail after a year so you have to buy new ones. I think it is the fairies.

That one guy.

I will forever be known to my girlfriend's family as that one guy who came to Thanksgiving and ripped his pants.

Note to all musicians

From today until Christmas we are forced to listen to Christmas music all day long. I can take if for about the first week, after that it is just torture. If there were more than 15 different Christmas songs it would be much better. Musicians keep taking the same Christmas songs and put their own spins on them, which annoys me to no end. So please, if you are a musician, do not re-do an old Christmas song. Please come up with an entirely new song so that I can keep my sanity. Thanks.

4 Thanksgivings

Every year I overdose on turkey by eating 4 Thanksgiving dinners. One at my parents house with just our immediate family, one at my mom's side (usually) with somewhat extended family, one at my mom's side's cabin with extended family, and one at my dad's side. Have a happy mass consumption of poultry day tomorrow! I may be sick by the weekend.

I saw the sun

Today I looked up in the sky and saw something that I had not seen for about two weeks; The sun! I was looking at it but then my eyes hurt and I remembered you arn't supposed to look at the sun, so I stopped. What fun is the sun if you can't look at it?

Haircut

People keep telling me that I need a haircut. I just tell them I am going to grow it out while I have it. Plus, it keeps my head warm. I probably do need a haircut though. Although I do like being able to shake it dry like a dog. I like dogs. I want one but I am not allowed in my apartment.

Product Descriptions

I think I have too much fun doing the product descriptions. The best part is trying to imagine the look on people's faces when they read them and ask themselves how I come up with this stuff. I don't know either half the time.

Seat heaters

My car has seat heaters that I use all the time when it is cold. I just wish I had them in my pants to use when I am not in my car.

Should I have eaten that?

I defrosted a bratwurst last night that had been in my freezer for at least six months. Can something spoil in the freezer? It was a little chewy but it tasted ok. I need to clean out my fridge more often. I found some hot peppers in there that expired last April.

Kickball

I have always wanted to play kickball with one of those giant exercise balls. Who is with me?

Burned Cookies

So I burned 2 out of 3 batches of cookies tonight. I have no idea how I managed that as I like my cookies rare. It is a low day for me in the cookie making department. I'm going to bed.

All that work for nothing

So a couple weeks ago I got the wiring done for a 220V heater that someone bought on ebay. I ran lots of cord and made sure it was nice, neat, and out of sight. I was really excited about having heat because I usually freeze out there all winter. Well, we plugged it in and it did nothing. So I checked all my connections and still nothing. So we plugged the heater directly into the electric box, still nothing. We took the heater in to have it tested and it turns out that it operates on 600V which is really weird. So I did all that work for nothing. At least the wiring looks good and no one got shocked. I guess it will be a long, cold, winter for me.

Speed Limits.

The speedometer in my car goes to 140mph and I am fairly certain that the car will go at least that fast. The speed limit here is only 65mph, so I guess I shouldn't find out if it will do it. I think the car manufacturers have an agreement with law enforcement; They make really fast cars so that people are tempted to go fast and the law enforcement gives tickets when we try. I'm going to move to Montana.

Good Quote

I read today about someone in Indiana smashing a voting machine with a cat paperweight. One of the responses to this article said "It must be Rage Against the Machine." I nearly fell off my stool laughing.

Who Did That?

A quote from today: "Ok, who took the gauze package out of the first aid kit, removed the gauze, and then put the wrapper back in the box? Who does that?" Oh the humanity!!

Permanent?

I always write stuff on my hand with a pen and it washes off. Then I started using a permanent marker to write on my hand and it washes off too. They need to take the "permanent" out of permanent marker, don't you think?

One dollar bills.

One dollar bills take up a lot of room in my wallet. I have about 15 in there now and it makes me look rich, except for when I go to pay for something, then it makes me look like a stripper.

Buckeyes!

Has anyone else noticed that the OSU Buckeyes are named after either a tree or nut? Usually mascots are somewhat fearsome and exhibit a little bit of fight in their name. What kind of fight is in a tree or a nut? Both are inanimate objects. Maybe it is because buckeyes are poisonous? I can hear the cheerleaders now: "Don't eat the buckeyes, they'll make you feel dead. If you chop down our trees then we'll throw nuts at your head!!!"

Fish Blender!

A very nice employee gave me a blender for fixing her daughter's computer. I already have a blender but this one is much nicer. I was going to donate my blender to someone but everyone I know already has one. I came to the next logical solution; A fish tank! Oh the irony....

My Wrist Hurts.

I hurt my wrist while working out on a punching bag last night. Now I have to wear an ace bandage that makes me look like a burn victim, a professional bowler, a fighter, someone with carpal tunnel, or an archer . I don't know which it is yet though.

Say What?

The other day a lady asked me if we had any soup servers. I asked "you mean a soup latrine?" It's actually called a soup terrine and I corrected myself but I still felt stupid.