When I was about 3 years old,

my parents drilled into me to "look both ways before crossing the road." I still think this is a good idea and do it every time I cross a road. Evidently someone forgot to tell the moron with a yard sale sign who walked right out in front of my car this morning without looking. Fortunately I missed him by about an inch because hitting him would have put a really nasty dent in my car.

I flipped someone the bird

today. Literally. I was driving down the road and a bird flew into my window, bounced off, and hit the window of the car behind me. I hope he wasn't too offended.

I went to an amusement park

yesterday and now want to be a roller coaster designer. I want to make one that goes from one point in the park to another, kind of like a transit system. Then I want to make one that has the sole purpose of making people hurl. Of course, everyone who rides it will get a free poncho.

My gf had a mouse

under her rug. She said it was kind of like a cartoon where there was a lump moving all around under there. Instead of trying to capture it under the rug, she freaked out and ran away so it was able to escape. I told her it was a lot like this video. She watched it and was not amused. I watched it and about fell off my chair laughing.

Someone dropped off a mystery box

outside my apartment today. The address isn't really close to mine so I am not really sure how it got dropped off here. I tried to google the guy it was supposed to go to but he doesn't have a phone. So I decided to open the box to see if I could find the guy's e-mail address or phone number (that and maybe to see what was inside.) Nope, nothing at all, just the same name and address that is on the outside of the box. That, and an engine control unit for a car. I have a feeling that the guy is really going to want that. I guess I'll call the company who sent the box in the morning. That or walk around town asking people if their car is missing an ECU. 

It is generally a good idea

to turn on the stove when trying to cook pasta. Not saying that I know from experience.

This is one of the best days of my life because

I went to Starbuck's this morning and my venti non-fat no whip mocha was free. Of course, they lost my order and it took them 10 minutes to make it which made me late for work but still, I am thrilled.

I got the world's worst

paper cut yesterday from a cardboard box. There are two cuts from it, both about an inch long on my left palm so bandages are useless. I tried to put some liquid bandage on it but it burned horribly and did nothing. Now it is really bothering me because it is 94 degrees and the sweat is dripping into the cuts. It's a good thing I am right handed.

I was playing video games

today with a kid who made me feel really old. He laughed at the graphics on Sonic the Hedgehog and said it must be "the first video game system ever." Then he couldn't figure out the point of the game. He also laughed at me when I told him Super Mario Brothers was my favorite video game. What is with the kids these days? Good thing I can still beat him up in real life.

Our giant tent is set up this week

and I keep lobbying for a trapeze and an elephant. For some reason I keep getting shot down. I think we could sell a lot more pottery if we had an elephant.

Well, I'm back from camp

and the 12 year-olds didn't kill me. Being a councilor really helped my self esteem too because there was a cabin of girls that thought I was "hot." I told my gf and she wasn't jealous at all. I don't blame her. Anyway, we should all thank my sister for filling in while I was gone. Thanks sister!

Clamming was a blast.

I caught a total of 3. Yes, 3 clams. But my friend (an experienced clammer) gave me his clams, so I had about 18 to take home. I cooked them in vodka and made pasta. It was pretty good, but the clams were a little on the chewy side. I’d like to go again, but maybe I will have someone else cook my clams. Either that, or just throw out the clam and save the scallops… delish. But next time I go, I’m totally wearing flippers. Swimming across the bay with 10lbs of scallops on a rope tied to your waist is pretty much a death-wish without flippers. That could be a proverb. If only I was Chinese…

 

I am going clamming today!

Yes, that’s correct. Clamming. Not real sure how this works, but apparently, I go snorkeling in 65 degree ocean water while digging in the sand with my hands. This could be sweet if I actually get clams. But if I don’t end up with clams, I’m not going to be a happy clammer. I’ll let you know how it goes. Do clams bite?

So the Finnish hottie

has a problem. When she coughs, she seems to be unable to cover her mouth. And she has a naaaasty cough. And I mean disgusting. It’s one of those phlegmy coughs where she hacks up stuff each time. Wellllll, Monday, she walked past my desk and of course, she waited until she was right above me to cough. I mean, I felt it. The germies fell all over my head. I tried really hard not to breathe and not to scream (and/or vomit). So it has been 3ish days since ‘the incident’ and now I am sick. Full-blown head-cold. Grrrrr. Not a happy camper. It’s summer and I have a runny nose. Sick. Moral of this story: COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU SNEEZE/COUGH! IT WILL SAVE LIVES! NO ONE WANTS YOUR GERMIES!

I waited all day today

for a great idea to share with the world. Well, I didn’t come up with anything on my own, unfortunately. BUT, a lovely tidbit fell into my lap. You might want to sit down for this: My dad killed my fish. Yes, that’s correct. Deader than a doornail. So here’s the skinny: I got the fish tank 7ish years ago from my lovely brother. Since that time, I have not cleaned it. Ever. Well, since I’ve been a full time student (the last 4 years of my life in college) my dad has been taking care of the fish (our dog died a few years ago and mom won’t let him get another). I’ve had one Danio (Ned) that has lasted the full 7 years. He’s a fighter (and perhaps the cause of the other’s demise), but that’s another story. Now, dad feeds the fish (I had two: Ned, and a fish who formerly had no name until he turned suicidal, I saved him accidentally (it was a miracle) and then he adopted the name Lucky). But dad feeds the fish like he would feed a horse. There is more food on my carpet than in the tank! My room adopted a fish-food smell a few months ago. Anyways… dad decided that the tank needed cleaned since he could no longer see the fish (I still say it is because he fed them and unnaturally large amount). So he cleaned the begeesus out of it. He got new rocks, cleaned the filter, and scraped the algae off the sides! He also cleaned the ‘furniture’ (a few roman columns and a pot, of course). Well, just a few short hours later, Lucky was belly-up. Sad story, I know. But you’ve got to appreciate the irony of this story. The care-taker fish-savior becomes the fish-murderer. At least he said a few words before flushing the poor thing. Thanks dad.

 

 

I have a frosted window

in my office cube deal that looks out into the hallway. So when people walk by, I can look at them and see a fuzzy outline and they can’t really see me. I’ve gotten pretty good at identifying people by the way they walk. Well now, the maintenance men are building cubes right outside my window… make that AGAINST my window. So now my window looks into a future employee’s cube! And I know the future employee on the other side of the window and I will make awkward eye contact almost everyday. I’ve decided I need a poster. But the only one I have in my office is of the top 200 drugs made by pharmaceutical companies in 2006. You think anyone would be offended if I put up a poster of half-naked Abercrombie models?

So who's excited?

This is my first day as a free woman! Well, not really, but kind of. My boss just switched labs, so he is no longer the eyesore I get to see everyday as I try not to get caught checking my email every 5 minutes. Now a new Ph.D. is coming in. Apparently she is a 20something Finnish hottie. We’ll see about that.

 

And by the way, the brother lies. He told me in the email that he (and I quote) “…put your name in a pot with exactly no other people…” Gotta love the older sibling syndrome.

 

 

I am going to be a camp councilor next

week so I asked my sister to fill in for me. I sent her an e-mail telling her I put her name in a pot with a bunch of other names and pulled her name out to do the pottery blog. I really didn't, I just wanted to make her feel special. I think she is in Canada right now until Tuesday so I hope you enjoy reading this until she puts up something new. Just for fun, if you take the first letter of every other word in this post and write it backwards, it spells the name of my first crush. It really doesn't but you shouldn't let that stop you. I'll be back Friday unless a bunch of 12 year olds kill me.

I went to buy shorts the other day

and went to the men's department thinking I could find some. Well, I found out that men must wear shorts that are way to short. I ended up going to the boys department to buy shorts that didn't look like they were from the 80's. You would think that the older you get, the less man leg you want to see / show off, right? Evidently not. I'm not that old and I don't want to show off any man leg. I think I should write someone about this.

I just got the best holiday quote from a friend:

"Be sure to celebrate the independence of your country by blowing up a small piece of it this weekend!" I couldn't have said it better myself.

My grandparents gave me the

world's oldest record player for my birthday. I didn't know I wanted it but I got it anyway. Now I don't know what to do with it. I can't sell it because it is old, they gave it to me, and it is kind of cool. I also can't display it anywhere because it would look really out of place with my Macbook or my Stratocaster. I guess I'll put it in my spare room with the rest of my stuff I don't know what to do with. Don't get me wrong, I am very appreciative of it, I just have no idea what to do with it or where to put it. I wonder if they make any good rock music on 4 minute cylindrical records? Probably not.