I wonder if you can

be allergic to allergy medicine?

The significant other told me to

"sheet" the bed today. I just laughed and asked her if the dog could help me. I don't think she got it.

I have always underestimated the usefulness of toes

until I ran mine over today with a pallet jack. Now I get severe pain whenever I use them, which I am finding is quite a lot. Sorry toes.

I have never owned a shirt

with my name on it. If I was going to wear a shirt with a name I would make sure the name wasn't mine. That way people couldn't come up and start talking to me like they know me. Only they probably would but they would be using the wrong name so then I could call them on it. Then they would feel like a moron. That or they would accuse me of wearing someone else's shirt. Then I would feel like a moron. So maybe the whole "named shirt" thing just isn't for me.

Why is it that every time you

drop food it seldom lands on your napkin? Isn't that why we put napkins on our laps? I think I am going to boycott the whole napkin lap thing.

Every year I gather all the teeth

I lost since I was 5 years old and hide them under my pillow for the Easter bunny. I never get any money though, instead I get a basket of candy. I am so confused.

My work shoes were soaked

from pressure washing the house yesterday so I wore my lawn mowing shoes to work today. My lawn mowing shoes are really cruddy and are missing a big rubber piece on the heel so when I walk it looks like I am limping. Anyway, I thought I would get used to it but after a while my knee started hurting and I was getting strange pains in my back. So, to make a long story short, I went home and put on my good running shoes and now everything is better. I think I might run over my lawnmowing shoes with the lawnmower. Then end.