In case you were wondering,

you can not take a brick with you in your carry-on on an airplane. I just know that was a question that has always been on your mind.

It is 70 degrees here

and all my windows are open. I feel bad for all those poor kids that got sleds for Christmas. I hope it gets cold enough to use the heated socks my grandparents gave me. I'm going to look like such a geek wearing those. At least I'll be warm.

I think my minister hates me

because every Christmas Eve service my sister and I have a contest to try to get each other to laugh. It isn't a contest really, it just kind of happens. Anyway, I always fall asleep at church (ever since college I tend to go to sleep when someone lectures) and my sister kept poking me to wake me up. Then we started writing things on the bulletin about other people which is always funny . At the end of the service we always light candles and sing Silent Night. We kept trying to blow out each other's candle which neither one of us successfully did. Then I couldn't read the words to the song because it was dark and my church sings all 10 verses of Silent Night (maybe there are only 4) so my sister started moving the words all around about 2 inches from my face. It was really annoying but really funny at the same time.  I'm sure all the people around us now hate us because we ruined their Christmas Eve service. It just wouldn't be Christmas without some kind of commotion, right? Have a good one.

It is supposed to be 50 degrees

and rainy here on Christmas Eve day. On Christmas, there is a high of 43 degrees and it is supposed to be sunny. I think I am going to wear shorts to work on the 24th to protest the warmth and the rain. I'll probably wear a santa hat too.

I really want to fill one

of those inflatable Christmas decorations up with helium and see if it floats away.

I'm in Canada right now

picking up my sister from college. It's really cold and snowing, just what i thought Canada would be like. People on sidewalks here don't get out of your way. I am seriously contemplating shoulder checking someone, even thought I shouldn't. I ate poutine last night. It's cheese and gravy on french fries. I also watched hockey at a sports bar but I was trying too hard to fit in and cheered for the wrong team. They were not amused.

Why are white elephant

gifts called white elephants? Did someone actually get a white elephant as a gift and it sucked so bad they told everyone and the name spread? It does sound like something my grandparents would give me.

Zanesville must have some kind of

"anti-snow bubble" around it. They will predict big storms and they always hit just to the North or South of here. I think I am going to build my own snow machine so I have a white Christmas for once. I did build a snow machine once when I was younger. It made a lot of noise and not very much snow.  Using it, I completely covered a birdhouse with ice. I was so proud.

I carried a Christmas Tree

all through the big hardware store yesterday. There was no one by the trees to wait on me so I had to run it through the wrapping machine and cut some pieces off with their electric chainsaw myself. Then I wasn't done shopping so I had to carry the tree on my shoulder all over the store. The tree was wet too so it was dripping everywhere. It was really funny. I should have brought a camera.

If I ever invent a really

stupid gadget I am going to put an "i" in front of it so it sells. It seems to be the latest marketing trend based on a test by me walking around in stores. "I" think it's dumb.

I saw an advertisement today

for "turkey ham." I have no idea what it is supposed to be. Is it ham that tastes like turkey or turkey that tastes like ham? Either way I believe it has a bit of an identity crisis.

I think a lot of crime could be

cut out if retailers called the cops every time someone buys a ski mask. I don't think anyone who buys one is up to anything legit. They should probably just stop selling them altogether. It would likely make the world a better place.

Am I a bad person because

I got to the local big box mart for the laughs? Today I saw a lady with a giant plastic Santa in her cart. It was looking at me which made it funny. Then I saw a guy try to throw a soap container into his wife's cart. He missed and said "nice shot" to her. She called him a dingleberry. I haven't said that word since 3rd grade. 

I know people in England drive

on the wrong site of the road but do they walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk too? I've noticed that when people walk in crowded areas (like malls) they tend to pass left to left, just like they drive (except kids who seem to walk wherever they feel like). I have never been to England so I'm not sure how they do things there. They probably make fun of the Americans who keep trying to walk opposite the flow of people.

Why do certain car manufacturer's

cars keep getting uglier? I wonder if that has anything to do with why they are in financial trouble?

I didn't think there was such

thing as a bad cookie until I tried some my aunt and uncle made. They tasted good but after a while they made me feel like I had a rock in my stomach. What kind of cookie does that? An evil cookie. I threw them out.