I think I am going to build my own

snow machine. My neighbors might not like it but I'll just throw snowballs at them.

Have you ever thought about

the phrase "in a pickle?" How do you suppose someone could come up with that? Pickles are not hollow and nothing inside a pickle but more pickle. The more I think about it the more confused I get.

Today I found some gravy

in the refrigerator that expired in 2005. I was tempted to try it but then decided I shouldn't. 

I would look absolutely

horrible dressed as a clown. Just thought you should know.

Do you think the person responsible

for putting sprayers on sinks ever realized how much fun they are to spray people with? They are so much better at that than dish washing.

Don't you hate it when

you're really tired but still too awake to go to sleep?

I've discovered that your nostril

is a horrible place to get a zit.

If someone sends you an email

at 3:49am on Tuesday and says says they will meet you tomorrow, does that mean they will meet you Tuesday or Wednesday? Yes, it confused me too.

It amuses me that the same

psychology used on dogs also works on people. I don't know if that is good for them and bad for us or vice-versa. 

Talking with your mouth

open is a lot easier than talking with your mouth closed. Go ahead, try it.

Earlier today I thought of something

amazing to put here and I was going to write it down....but I forgot and now it is completely gone. Sorry about that.

I've noticed that people with

all wheel drive vehicles think of snow differently than everyone else. For instance, I feel no need to shovel the driveway. The woman feels differently.

I can't stand those stupid

"captcha" things that are all over the internet. I can never read the dumb things and half the time they make me feel like I need glasses.

It is amazing how much

more stuff you can get done by canceling your cable. I should have thought of this years ago.

Winter would be a lot better

if there were more snow and less cold. I don't know how that would work but it would be better, I promise.

So do we say two thousand

ten, twenty ten, oh ten, or just 10 for 2010? My vote is for oh ten. It has a nice ring to it.