The other day I was trying to

spell the word "subtle" and my spell check kept telling me it was wrong.  It took me 5 minutes to figure out it isn't spelled "suttle" like you would think. Oh no, "subtle" has a silent "b." I can't think of any other words with a silent "b." "Subtle" just has to be difficult.

I think all the good ideas

are already taken. Like my idea for a movie rental place that rents books instead of movies. Turns our they have that and it is free. At least my idea made money...

You ever get the feeling that

some of the stuff you learned in school is pretty much useless? Like sentence diagramming. When am I going to use that stuff if I'm not an English teacher?

When I was a kid I used

to think catching lightning bugs was cool. Now I think it is cool when lightning bugs splatter on my windshield and glow for a bit. I think that is a sign I might be maturing. I hope not.

My dog hacked a piece

of treat across the room today at obedience class. I think the trainer was impressed.

Has anyone else noticed that

commercials keep getting more and more strange? Commercials should make you want to buy products, not make you wonder what kind of drugs the ad agency is on.

I tried to watch cartoons

on Saturday morning but it turns out they are nothing like they used to be. After Spongebob was over it was all downhill from there. Kids really watch that stuff? It is like they imported a bunch of strange cartoons and dubbed English over them. I'm glad I have Looney Toons on DVD...

There is a girl with a dog

at obedience school with a dachshund named "Weiner." It barks the whole class and they are always calling it's name. It is all I can do to keep from falling off my stool laughing. 

There should be classes

on cell phone etiquette. Particularly about how you don't need to talk twice as loud as normal while on the phone because no one else wants to hear your conversation.

Today I noticed that the

bags I pick up dog poop with are pink with little hearts on them. Maybe they think the cuteness of the bags will somehow take away from the vile evil which lies inside. They must have been on sale.

One time I got my braces

stuck to the carpet. It was pretty embarrassing. Just thought you should know.

I found a dead bird

in my yard. I got some gloves, picked it up, and put it in a plastic bag. The bag happened to be a PetSmart bag. I thought about taking it back to the store but I decided against it and threw it in the trash. Now my garage smells like dead bird. The end.

Spaceballs really should not

be shown to a bunch of kids at a church just because it is rated "PG." It should be rated "BI" for Bad Idea.

I told everyone I had swine

flu today thinking they would let me go home early. It didn't work. I don't think my coughs were realistic enough. I might try it again tomorrow.

I'm going to make a green

spray paint that you spray on your grass to kill it. That way it looks green but it doesn't grow.