My parents were out of power yesterday

because of a big ice storm we had. They were thinking about staying at the house and ordering a pizza for dinner to eat in the dark. I told them that they shouldn't be eating pizza Amish style and that they should come to my house because there is heat, light, and tv. They thought that was a good idea. I wonder if Amish people eat pizza? They probably order it from their cell phones.

I want to do a scientific

study on how computers cause brain damage. I couldn't type it on a computer though because that would defeat the purpose. 

There was a lady at church

whose hearing aid was making an unholy screeching sound. She must have been seated somewhere around me because the noise was going straight to my brain. I tried plugging my ear for a while but I looked stupid and it didn't seem to help much, so I stopped. Then I tried moving my head around so the sound wasn't so bad on my ear drum. Every time I found a spot where it wasn't bad, the lady moved and the sound came back. Now I have a ringing in my ears and it is really bugging me. I think the lady is trying to make me have to wear hearing aids too. Thanks lady.

So I'm running around the

indoor track at the fitness center I go to and a lady kept staring at me. I had my ipod cranked up listening to heavy metal when I noticed. I would come around the corner and she would look right at me and when I got close she would take a few brisk steps, stop and then continue to stare. It was really creeping me out because it was so blatant. I am usually in my own little world when I run so for me to notice really says something. She did that for several laps then she started trying to talk to me as I came around the track past her. This really annoyed me because: 1. I have my ipod cranked up so loud that I can hear nothing shy of a train crash; 2. There are other people walking around the track that I am trying to not hit as I run and she is destracting me; 3. The creepy lady is trying to talk to me; and 4. I'm running and I hate being interrupted when I run. She did that for three laps and finally I decided to say something. I stopped running and asked her if she needed something. She told me that I looked familiar and wanted to know if I graduated from Muskingum College. I told her no and she kept insisting that she knew me because she never forgets a face. After 5 minutes of her insisting that she knew me she finally decides that she took my picture for an advertisement for the college book store. I was like 6 years old when it happened. Then she got all happy that she knew me and after a little bit more chit chat, she thought I should get back to running. So I ran for a while and got a side cramp and had to stop. She was a nice lady but really, couldn't she wait until I stopped? That probably would have freaked me out less. Now that I proof read this post I realize that it is really boring and I probably should have written about somthing else. I would delete it but it took to long to type. Sorry about that.

As a general rule,

grandparents should not give cologne as gifts. There are exceptions to this rule but not very many. I think I may have a smell induced headache now.

Today is Dad's birthday.

You should call here and sing happy birthday to him and then hang up, or don't. Happy Birthday Dad!

The good thing about having

winter tires on your car is that you don't have to worry as much about weather. The bad thing is that it makes it more difficult to do doughnuts and power slides in parking lots.

My dad has a giant

diesel truck. It is so big he could probably run over my car if he wanted. It has 4 wheel drive, huge chrome wheels, and takes two full size car batteries to start it. It also has something called a block heater so he can plug it in when it gets cold to keep it warm. Sounds like a tough truck, huh? Well, it was too cold for it to start today and we had to use my little Subaru to jump start it.  He looks so put out when this happens (it has happened twice this year.) I think it is funny.

Earwax is the strangest

stuff ever. There is nothing normal about it. It has a strange color, a strange odor, and a strange taste. But it doesn't taste anything like it smells.

I have no idea why but

commercials with talking babies freak me out. It just isn't right.

You know how they have that

federal "Do not call list?" They really need to make a federal "Do not send junk mail" list. I hate junk mail. Then I guess the post office would have to raise their prices again.

I might grow a mustache

just in case I get a cold. That way I won't need any tissues when I blow my nose.

I think bills would

be a lot better if they paid themselves. I think I am onto something with that one.

If I ever started a band

it would be called "Covered In Bad." That is really all I could think of to write today. Sorry about that.

I think that writing fortunes

for fortune cookies would be the best job ever. This is based on absolutely nothing.

It really bothers me that

they make vegetarian products that look like real meat. Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose? You might as well eat a real hamburger. I guarantee it will taste better.  

I showed the lady at the grocery

my ID the other day when I was buying some champagne. She glanced at it then typed 1/1/1950 into the computer. What the heck? I am no where near that old. I still have my own hair and it isn't gray. Plus, she asked for my ID so she must have thought I looked underage. My self esteem was lowered a notch nonetheless.

My preacher is trying to get

me to read in church on Sunday. I managed to get out of it last Sunday but I can't come up with any good excuses for this one. I am thinking about telling him I am illiterate but I think it is really bad to lie to a preacher. Maybe if I screw up he won't make me do it again. That would probably be really bad too. I'll probably screw up by accident because I am to worried about screwing up on purpose. Would that be bad?