When making shish kabobs

you really should read the directions for the skewers. They say soak in water for 20 minutes for a reason. A reason that I didn't figure out until it was too late...

I had a dream the

other night that a giant praying mantis flew into my hair. It freaked me out.

I am a big fan of

chicken wings. I just don't think they are a big fan of me. I won't elaborate.

I stink at the

electric slide. Though you should know. That is all.

I saw a moldy mushroom

today at the grocery store. I found it funny that fungi would grow on fungi. Ok, so it is not that funny but hey, I'm tired and short on material.

Since it is impolite to talk with your

mouth full, would it be impolite to use sign language with your hands full?

I completely overdosed

on jellybeans, peeps, and chocolate today. In a way it makes me glad Easter only comes once a year.

My sister drove to Canada

the other day and someone stole her windshield wipers. Who does that? Also, someone stole my credit card number and I keep getting e-mails about where they are spending money. At least it was my online shopping credit card and not my bank account one. So far they have charged $1.00 to Sephora and $747.49 to Motorola. They must like skin care products and cell phones.

I can hear the guy snoring

in the apartment below me. If I can hear him from here, I would hate to hear him in person. Really, it rattles the floor.

I'm confused about why

bunnies bring eggs at Easter. What do bunnies have to do with eggs? They are mammals and vegetarian. I have no idea if vegetarians eat eggs.

I just found one of my ski

socks down in the laundry room. I knew it was mine because it was from the 80's and is blue and red. Evidently someone found it in a sandbox or a ditch because it was covered in sand and dirt, lying there soaking wet on a table. I had no idea how it got that dirty or that it was missing until I saw it. Naturally, I picked it up and squeezed out the water. It looked salvageable until the smell hit me. It was a mixture between old gym locker, dog, and mildew. My feet smell but not that bad. Something horribly wrong happened to that sock. Ewwww.

I went skiing today and

didn't wear green on purpose. No one pinched me so I guess no one noticed.

We had a commercial

filmed today. I was going to streak but quickly decided against it.

I completely schooled a kid today

by wearing his heel skate shoe things. He asked if I wanted to try them so of course I accepted and rocked at it! I was spinning around and jumping over chairs and small children. I am just kidding, I was horrible. I am honestly surprised I didn't die.

I was one quarter shy for

laundry money today. I looked everywhere to find one. In my backpack, car, floor, pants pockets, under the bed, in my dresser, ski jacket, and the ceiling and I couldn't find any. As a last ditch effort before I drove to the car wash, I decided to check the couch. I have never found any money in my couch so I about went crazy when I found a quarter, a dime, and a penny! I have never been so happy about finding a quarter in all my life. I think I am going to plant some quarters around my apartment now so this won't happen again.

Holding your breath

while running around the track is not a good idea.

I'll never be a big fan

of pineapple pizza. I keep trying it but never really like it.

It is snowing like crazy here and people

are freaking out. It hasn't stopped for 24 hours but there is only a foot of snow on the ground. People are acting like there is at least 3 feet of snow. I tried driving around to find an open coffee shop and there was no traffic. I finally found one at the grocery store, where everyone was buying bread and milk. I think they should be buying margaritas and steaks but that is just me. If you are snowed in and reading this, please have fun and don't freak out. Go sled riding, throw snowballs, watch a movie, and enjoy it. I know I am!!!

It is socially acceptable to pick your nose

in front of someone if you put a tissue over your finger. At least that is what the lady did when she picked her nose in front of me today. I think she was trying to scratch her brain.

I just found out that I scare

people when they see me skate around the local college at 12:30am. Sorry if I scared you, it's just me.

I saw an advertisement

for Tiger Woods Gatorade today. Am I the only one who sees a problem with this? If you asked me to pick rank sports from most active to lest active, golf would be at the bottom of the list, right next to curling. I played monkey curling online once, it was a blast.

If I were a tool,

I would be a Sawzall. What kind of tool would you be?

I tried to watch cartoons

yesterday but they were horrible. I can't believe that the kids of today have to put up with that junk. They need a 24 hour cartoon channel that just plays old cartoons from the 80's and before. They probably have that but I am too cheap to pay for it. Sorry you have to hear about my cheapness.