It took me ten minutes

in Photoshop before I realized the spot I was trying to edit out was actually on the screen of my laptop. I must have sneezed on it at one point in time or another. My eyes hurt. I am going to bed.

I think that all cell phones

should be tested by passing them through the washer before they are allowed to be sold. Life would be better that way.

Dear People at Wendy's,

I got one of your taco salads today and it came with "Ancho Chipotle Ranch" dressing. Just wanted to let you know that you spelled the word "Nacho" wrong. Have a great day.

I always tell people

to yell at me if they need help. No one ever yells. Why do I even bother?

I was going to make a comment

last night but someone disconnected my tv and internet. I came home to find a door hanger paper thing stuck in my door (not on the door knob like the paper thing was ment to be hung on) that said "sorry we missed you" and had a check mark next to a box that said "disconnect service." I am usually good about paying my bills but I decided to check anyway and sure enough, I had paid it. So I called my landlord who wasn't home, then I called the cable company to find out what happened. After half an hour on the phone with them, they said "someone must have disconnected the wrong place." Evidently. The lady said that the repair man was supposed to go to 10 Whatever Street and I am at 175 Whatever Street, Apartment 10.  I can see where that would be confusing (not really.) So now I am knocked into the early 1990's without internet. I guess I will have to pull out my Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Sound Garden CD's.

My head itches.

I think I have a Louse.  Just one though.

I went skiing yesterday and

and didn't put on any sunscreen. It was a beautiful day, nice and sunny, but I never thought about it. Probably because I am so used to it being winter. So now my face is bright red with sunglasses lines. It would be really comical if it didn't hurt so badly. Too bad sunscreen doesn't work after you get burned.

A Quote From My Sister.

Me (after she said something stupid): "You really are a blond, aren't you?" (she is blond)
Her: "No."
Her (after a 10 second pause): "I mean yes"
Me: "Right."
Her: "Shut up."

More often than not,

people who drive fixed up, giant pickup trucks can't drive worth a darn. Just an observation.

I almost died tonight

by decapitation. I call the object that was nearly responsible for this the "drawer of death."

I bet that the first time

people saw popcorn pop they freaked out.

It rained today and then

it turned to "frozen ice pellets," then to giant snow flakes, and then back to rain. I thought I even heard thunder. I think the weather was a bit confused. I know I was.

My grandpa wanted me to help

him find a "universal" remote for his off-brand TV on the internet. After half an hour of looking, I couldn't find one. So why the heck do they call them "universal?"

The only reason I go

to martial arts classes twice a week is to get my butt kicked. It keeps my self esteem from getting too high.

I have always wanted to call

a number, tell them I need an extraction, and have a helicopter land.

I only like the time change

when I get to sleep an extra hour. The losing of an hour is just torture. Just pick a time and stick with it.

My sister decided I needed

a haircut today. I told her I like it longish but manageable. She said that sounded nice but she only knows how to cut hair one way. Oh, and she won't touch sideburns. So now I have short hair with sideburns. I think I look like deranged Beatle.

It is very sunny today

making it perfect for sunglasses. Too bad I lost mine. It figures.

I could be a vegetarian

if I didn't enjoy eating meat so much. Actually I don't eat much meat, mostly chicken. Maybe I could be a chicketarian?

I read in the USA Today

that they are thinking about banning anything with batteries on airplanes. If they start doing that I hope they include complementary headphones and movies that don't suck. They should advertise that. "This airline plays movies that don't suck." I would definitely buy a ticket.

It is supposed to snow here

overnight again. I keep hearing people say that they wish spring were here. I only went skiing three times this winter so I am not ready for it to get warm yet. Maybe after I get to my 30th time skiing I'll be ready. Probably not.

Exfoliate just sounds

like it should be a dirty word.

My friend is going to have an ice sculpture

for his wedding. Today I asked him if one of the other groomsmen and I could make it. He said that it was already ordered from the caterer. I am bummed. Granted, I have no experience with ice sculptures and I have a slightly "warped" sense of humor but I think he should let us try.