It was really hot today,

for a while it felt like I was right on the equator. Did you know that the equator passes right through Ecuador? I wonder if that is how it got its name...

Every time I go to Walmart

something stupid happens. I usually try to avoid Walmart at all costs for this reason, but today I decided to take my chances to see if they carry air conditioners (they do, $96.00 is the cheapest FYI.) While I was in there I thought I would be efficient and pick up some other stuff I needed. I got some milk, ice cream, malted milk balls (I was craving a milk shake,) and some envelopes. The ice cream was easy, it is in the front of the store in the freezer. The milk is in the back of the food section so that is a bit of a walk. Then, the geniuses who designed Walmart decided to put the candy on the opposite side of the store right next to cosmetics (makes sense, right?) So I walk through the entire store gathering what I need and then I try to get into a checkout line. There are two lanes open out of the 30ish lanes they have and in each lane are 20ish people and half of them have carts full of stuff.  So I stand there for about 5 minutes waiting to see which line is moving faster. Neither one move an inch! So I decided to be nice and I put back my ice cream and my milk, then I left my basket in the middle of the isle in clear view of the security camera because I didn't feel like walking to cosmetics to put away my milk balls and envelopes. Then I walked right out the door, got in my car, drove across the road to K-mart and was in and out of there in less than 3 minutes. Sure, my ice cream was $5.99 rather than $3.29 but if that is the cost it takes to remain sane, I don't mind. Sorry about that one run-on sentence.

A lady gave me a job offer

the other day and told me to send her my resume. Of course she didn't tell me what the job was for, where it was, what I had to do, or what skills were required to do said job. That, and I couldn't read her signature on the credit card slip and she didn't leave me a name, address, or business card. Some job offer. I think that if I actually tried to find her name and address and did manage to send my resume to her I would probably not get the job because she would think I was a stalker. I know I wouldn't hire a stalker. Not even a resourceful one.

I came across

some free temporary tattoos that have a monkey wearing a wizard hat and waving a wand. It is probably the strangest thing I have ever seen. So I have been wearing it all weekend and everyone who sees it thinks that it is cool. I might end up getting it permanently tattooed to my arm but I have been told that tattoos have a "mild yet pleasant burning sensation" when applied. I don't know anyone who would describe a burning sensation as pleasant so I think the person who told me that might be insane. The whole permanent thing freaks me out too. Who knows, later in life I could have a very traumatic experience with a monkey wearing a wizard hat waving a wand.

My face decided to

break out today for no reason. I feel like I am in high school again. Maybe zits will make me look younger? I hope not. Getting carded is annoying.

I burned my hand on the

gearshift knob in my car today. It hurts really bad. The knob says MOMO on it and now my hand reads OWOW, which is exactly what I said when it happened. If you believe me you should give me a dollar.

Yesterday at the fitness center

that I go to, I happened to look in the trash can under the hand dryer. In that trash can was the packaging from a new pack of tightie-whities. So I am staring at this while drying my hands (on the world's weakest hand dryer) wondering why someone would bring a new package of underwear to a fitness center, open them, unpack them, put them on, and throw the wrapping out in the trash can under the hand dryer. Isn't that something you normally do at home? This kind of stuff keeps me up at night. It really was more interesting in person. Sorry you read this.

I made it back from my

vacation, unfortunately. I got too see some crazy things; a three legged mangy dog that said hi to us on the beach, Richard Gere filming a movie, and some refugees in a raft. I am just kidding about the refugees. I also found out that bars down south are a lot less civil than up here.  That and lots of bad drivers live in Norfolk, Virginia. There is a crazy underwater tunnel in Norfolk that I have no problem holding my breath while passing through it. Doesn't everyone hold their breath while going under tunnels? Everyone should write my sister letters thanking her for filling in for me. I guess I need to step it up a bit because I feel that her posts are more entertaining than mine.

I used to want a squirrel.

Yup- a squirrel. I swear, there is something in the Athens county water that makes these squirrels so big! One of my friends has this little poochie thing (poodle/chihuahua) and these squirrels could do some serious dog butt-kicking. I tried to feed one some nuts, but he didn't go for it. Instead, he picked up the nut, stood up on his hind legs, and hurled it back at me! I ran, 'cuz I swear I heard him mutter something about knowing where I live and hunting me in my sleep. So yea, I no longer want a squirrel. Those buggers are mean!

I got poked in the eye.

Yes- with a glow stick wrapper. Last night. Actually, I pretty much had it rammed in my eye. It hurt sooooo bad. I cried. It was awful. Pretty sure my cornea is scratched. And I'm probably going to get pink eye from it. My eye lid is all swollen and my eye is all bloodshot and red. It's not pretty. And what makes it better... the guy that did it has no recollection of it what-so-ever. Grrr... ouch.

I have a new favorite song.

But it's a song that I hate to admit is my new favorite. Just because it is one of those songs that when stuck in your head can really drive you nutso. Ya know what I mean? But when I hear it on the radio or my iPod, I get a little bounce in my step and I can't help but break it down! Ok ok, the suspense is killing you, isn't it? Glamorous. Yes, Glamorous by Fergie. There. You made me do it. Now it's stuck in your head, huh? G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S... we're flyin' first class... :)

You know what I really hate?

I hate it when the people in the lab who use the NMR machine are too lazy to refill the paper in the printer. This leaves me, poor little undergrad, to run downstairs (3 flights) to the office to get the key to get more paper. Then when I finally get the printer working, it doesn't print out the ever important first page that I always need. (And you can't get it to print out again.) Aarg. I think those grad students do these things on purpose.

So earlier this week, I decided that I had a whole whole bunch of stuff to do. So Tuesday, I canceled a class I teach and I got some stuff done. Today, I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get stuff done. So now, I'm sitting here wondering why the heck I thought I was so busy... because I feel weird just sitting around. I'm thinking I should be doing something. Maybe I should write these things down. Nah... I think I will watch a movie. Thanks for reading.

Oh my goodness. I fell up the stairs TWICE today. And both times, I severely
injured my big toe. (The second time was worse though, of course.) Because I
know I'm not the only one who falls UP the stairs, I think that every set of
stairs should be made into an escalator. But... this doesn't really seem
practical, does it? Hmmm. Well maybe I should just stop checking out the
cute behinds in front of me and pay attention to what I'm doing. Right,
left, right, left...

I finally get to go on

a vacation so I am going to have my sister fill in for me. She has a tendency to get a bit strange so if her posts are a little too much off the wall please just laugh and be understanding. For Mother's Day we gave our mom a poem that we didn't write. I have a feeling that we inspired it though. Here it is:

Mom -

Today is Mother's Day,
And it gives me the chance to say,

That you mean more to me,
Than water and sunlight to a tree.

More than a goat, a lion or cat,
More than a zebra but less than a bat.

I want you to know how much it means,
To have your hugs in the back pocket of my jeans.

My jeans are loose and a little too long,
I've never washed them. I'm good at ping pong.

There's the "I'm proud of you" hugs that make all my hard work worthwhile.
There's the "I'm so happy to see you" hugs that always bring a smile.

There's the "goodnight" hugs that help me sleep tight.
There's the "I'm here for you" hugs that let me know everything will be alright.

There's a hug for the human that sits in a chair.
And there's a hug for people who care for their hair.

A hug for you when you think you're real funny.
A hug for the craps table when I lose all my money.

A hug for hugs sake, for people and soup.
A hug for the newspaper that gets the big scoop.

On this special day, I offer you my deepest love,
I hope you can feel it with this one big hug.

Keep this hug in the back pocket of your jeans,
Then you'll know what having your love means.

Today was in informing day

I was informed that Athens, Ohio is on a different time zone than the rest of the world; that I am famous but only with parenthesis; and that I had a long eyebrow hair almost in my eye. I am trying to grow my eye brow hairs out, I guess it's working.

Today I met a lady who

actually drives a short bus for a living. She had a very good sense of humor about it. No, I didn't make fun of her.

Don't you hate it when

you shave your chest and it itches the next day?

I left my wallet in my

pocket last night and ran my jeans through the washer. Normally I wouldn't be so broken up about it but it ruined my Circle K coffee card and I was only 2 cups away from getting a free coffee. I'm bummed.

Question of the day.

[Customer is referring to a bird bath]: If I put some water in this, will birds be able to use it?

A pair of socks makes sense

because there are two separate things. A pair of pants does not because there is just one thing. It should just be called a pant. This is my own opinion, borrow it if you wish.

June bugs must have some

serious issues. They seem to crash land whenever they fly and they always run into things. Evidently they don't even know what month it is because it is May, not June, so they shouldn't even be out.

I really hate computer code

because one little mistake can throw the entire program off. Oh, and by the way, I added a pottery festival page to the website and alphabetized the information menu. It took me three hours because I decided to type the html for fun and forgot an "=" sign. No wonder I failed programming 3 times.

My sink drips at a rate of

about a gallon an hour. I called the landlord about it on Monday and he told me he would get to it this week. I got a voicemail sometime today and he sounded all put out because I wasn't home and he came to fix the faucet. He also said he doesn't like to go into people's apartments when they are not home without permission. This makes sense so I called him back and told him he has permission to go in and fix the sink whenever. I bet that he will show up tomorrow when I am in the shower. I am very glad that I don't pay for water.

Remind me to

never go to the grocery store again when I'm hungry. There is a reason they say not to do that.

Today I met a dog with the

same name as my sister. Now that I think about it, there are a lot of similarities between that dog and my sister. They both; have curly hair, smell strange, like to jump on things, and bite occasionally. My sister will probably not like it that I am comparing her to a dog. I hope she doesn't read this.