I need to start exercising

on the roof. Just walking around up there is good for your calves. Or is it calfs? I don't know.

I think I stumbled on to a conspiracy.

It is my firm belief that the people that make Christmas lights purposefully make them burn out. I checked 14 strands of lights last year before I put them away and they worked perfectly. Today I plugged them in and only 4 worked. Somehow over the summer something must have "magically" made them go bad. I think they do it on purpose to drive me crazy and to get more money. Darn you Christmas light manufacturers!! Darn you!!!

I am starting to get a migraine

right now so I thought I would go ahead and make a post. My aunt says that migraines can cause brain damage. I hope it just kills the stupid cells.

For Thanksgiving, I am thankful

for the guy who let me drive his 2005 Lotus Elise. Even though I barely fit in it, it was absolutely amazing. Imagine a street legal enclosed go-cart designed for short contortionists.  I'm 6'2" so I had a slight issue getting in and out of it and making left hand turns. Who really needs to make left hand turns though?

They made me carve the

turkey at my girlfriend's family thanksgiving yesterday. I had no idea how to do it so I just guessed and no one complained. I named the carcasses (there were two) Jerry and George. I'm sorry you had to read about me naming the carcasses. It was funny at the time.

I told someone today

that my memory was like a garbage disposal. I have no idea what I meant by that.

So I'm driving from my

apartment to work the other day when I see a bunch of leaves piled up along the side of the road. They are actually in the road, so naturally my internal kid takes over and I steer towards it. My car hits the leaves and they go everywhere and when I go to look in the side view mirror to see how much I stirred up the leaves, I see a guy running out of his garage with a rake. It was then I realized that he had spent a really long time raking all those leaves up and over the curb so the street sweeper could come suck them up. So guy, if you are reading this, it was worth it. I laughed all the way to work.

I think I pulled a hammie

today while running. I don't know whether that is spelled hammie or hammy. It still hurts either way.

I don't know why people

rake leaves. They spend so much time raking and the leaves just keep falling down. Unless you are going to jump in them I don't see the point. Just be careful that you don't break your wrist when jumping into them. You know who you are.

Yesterday I dropped

at least 2000lbs of dinnerware because a pallet broke. I am now partially deaf from it. The worst part of it was that not everything was broken so I had to sort through it piece by piece. Oh, I found my pillowcase in the laundry room. Someone found it and laid it out on a table. At least it wasn't a pair of boxers.

Somehow I managed to lose

a pillow case while doing laundry. I am quite perplexed by this. I really should stop doing laundry. 

Zanesville is in need

of a decent rock radio station. The one I listen to at the gym is out of Columbus and it gets fuzzy every time someone opens the door to come in. Go figure that one out. 

When I grow up

I want to be a watermelon thrower.

If you ever come here

and we offer you a bag or a box, please don't say "do you have one?" If you do, be prepared for some kind of sarcastic response. We are not sarcastic people but you kind of turn into one after being asked the same question many times a day. 

The internet went out

everywhere today on the East side of Columbus. It got me thinking about how life was back in the 90's before the internet and how much more productive I was before it got popular. It also got me thinking about how much I miss watching re-runs of Macgyver.

I think the time change

makes people fat. The last thing you want to do in the evenings now is go out and play in the dark. Instead it makes you want to sit on the couch, pop in a movie, and eat food.

I don't think the word

"amuck" is used enough in daily language. I am going to re-introduce it back into the wild. 

I took off my work shoes and left

them in my car today. I have come to the conclusion that either; A. My feet stink. B. My shoes stink. C. My stinky feet made my shoes stink or D. My stinky shoes made my feet stink. Now my car stinks too. And no, it was not the dog feces I stepped in the other day. It is a definite foot odor.

I finally got a new computer

after using and abusing my college laptop for far too long. I also completely switched operating systems from Windows to Mac OS X. It is funny how years spent fixing Windows computers makes you want some kind of alternative. I just hope this Mac doesn't end up like my first one; It kind of blew up. I think this is the first time I have used a semi-colon in a post. I have no idea if I used it right or not.