I thought someone

was coming in for a man-hug at lunch today. I didn't really know the guy and I am not really into the whole man-hug thing but I positioned myself to return the man-hug anyway. It turned out he wasn't going in for a man-hug after all, he was trying to say goodbye to the person behind me. Needless to say, it got really awkward after that. 

Elephants are my favorite

mammal with a trunk.

When I put up the Christmas lights

this year I tested every strand like always and then risked life and limb putting them up. After plugging them in, I noticed half a stand was out in a difficult to reach spot. This angered me because I was out of lights and it was raining so I decided to leave it. Anyway, here it is a week later and somehow it magically fixed itself and is working. I swear there is some kind of evil Christmas light fairy that just likes to mess with me.

I'm not sure why no one else

seems to share my obsession with yard darts. The fun, the danger, what's not to like?

I have the next big product

idea: Pre-made Toast!! It's genius. I should trademark that.

Today I found out that I do

some of my best thinking on the roof.

Cyber Monday Sale

Use the coupon code " TURDUCKEN " (all caps no quotes) to save 25% off everything in our online store. This would have been at the top of the page but the idiots that host our website decided to change my username and password then go on vacation so I can't edit anything. Thanks a lot web host people!

Every time I see a bag of flower

I get this overwhelming urge to throw it off of something tall to see what kind of mess it would make. Am I the only one that gets this?