Ever have one of those nights

when you screw everything up? First I messed up the laundry (again) by accidentally  leaving the lid open on the washer so it didn't spin dry. Then I was trying to install a mod chip in my old Xbox and I messed it up so bad that I had to try to solder circuit traces back onto the motherboard. There is no way this thing is going to work now. I am such a geek.

I was taking some pictures

of my church last night to use for a website (they seem to think I know what I'm doing with that, which I don't) and I stepped in the world's worst smelling pile of dog excrement. Seriously, I gaged twice. It was right at the beginning too so I thought I would have a chance to wipe it off in the grass or something. The pictures ended coming out great but the smell kept following me around. After shuffling my feet around for like 5 minutes in the grass I thought I had it all so I got in my car. When I got back to my apartment I took off my shoe to find that the poo was impacted into a dome shaped region in the heel of my shoe. Of course, these are my new running shoes so I can't just throw them out, which I would have done had they been a lesser pair. It was that bad. So I got a paper towel and went outside to clean it off. This evidently aggravated the massive stench and I started gagging and it was burning my eyes. The paper towel didn't work well so I had to find a stick.  Finally I cleaned the bulk of it off and I ended up washing them out the rest of the way in the sink (with tons of soap). I would say that it was the worst smell I have ever smelled in my life. Even worse then my karate teacher's fridge (it had fish and cheese in it and hadn't been opened in 9 months but I got a dollar for smelling it.) If you read the this whole thing, please pat yourself on the back.

I built some abnormally large

moose antlers for Halloween this weekend. They looked very moose-like but it made it hard to get into bars. Also, I think all the people dressed like hunters wanted to shoot me.

I had a screwed up dream

last night that I had a pet sea lion. He lived in the woods until I adopted him. I have no idea what he ate but it wasn't fish. I think his name was Alex, or at least that is what he told me.

I wired up some switches

today for the florescent lights in the second building. I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to wiring so I am completely surprised
I am not dead. I really don't know how I was allowed to do it either. It took me a long time and then when I went to turn on the breaker, it worked!! No fires, no sparks, no dead bodies, nothing! It ended up being very anti-climatic.

I think I broke the washer.

I put a Canadian quarter in the washer today and the coin pusher thing got stuck. So I pried on it, hit it, stuck a small knife in it, and it still wouldn't give me my money back. It was as if the Canadian quarter was holding the other three American quarters hostage. It was especially frustrating because I had already put clothes in the washer and added detergent. So then I had to take my detergent soaked clothes and put them in the other washer and I got detergent all over me. At least I smell clean?

A lady came in with a pot of cat grass

today. I couldn't help but wonder if it grows when you plant a cat, or if it grows a cat.  Maybe it grows in the shape of a cat?

The trees finally decided to turn color

and they did so all at once. On Monday they were all green and now they are all colorful. They would look a lot more beautiful if there were not power lines running everywhere ruining the view. Where is Tesla when you need him?

I don't recommend taking the juice

from 12 lemons and trying to make lemonade in a 20oz glass and then drinking it. Then I really don't recommend eating a bowl of ice cream afterwards. I had a rough evening last night.

I really need to stop

going to the local coffee shop when I am late for work. I always see people I know and talk to them. I really enjoy it but I don't think my employer does.

So the financial gurus

who have my student loans have made it impossible for me to pay on the principal. I refinanced with these morons back in March and I have so far paid $873.97 towards the principal and $752.70 in interest. Then each time I try to make an overpayment they count that towards my next scheduled payment, thus buggering up my financial software on my computer. I have called them three times about it and the Jamaicans that answer the phone tell me something different every time. So I bought a telephone voice recorder and I am going to tell them I am recording them to make it legal and catch them telling me something different every time. Then I have no idea what I will do. Anyone want to lend me $18, 403.36 for 7% APR or less? I am contemplating rolling it over on 0% APR credit cards but it worries me a little. You would think that these people want me to never pay off my loan and just pay them interest. I hate evil capitalists.

There is something about

throwing a pie in someone's face that never ceases to be funny. Even when you don't have a pie and you have to use a cup cake cup and you fill it with whip cream.

Don't you hate it

when you do a daily blog and you can't think of anything to write about for several days in a row? Anyway, I haven't gotten a comment on the blog for quite some time. So write a comment or I will assume that no one reads this and then I will be bummed. You don't want that, right?

I'm currently running a scientific

experiment to see if reducing the amount of oxygen in a refrigerator inhibits mold growth.That or an experiment to see how long a candle will burn in a refrigerator and if it raises my electric bill by heating up the cold air. This might be the second most dumb thing I have ever done.

Somehow I managed to

get some kind of ink all over my carpet and myself. It is as if the ink ball fell out of a pen and it was hiding until I laid down on it. I tried using antibacterial soap to clean it off of me and it worked. I tried it on my carpet and it didn't work. The carpet smells clean though.

Some people seem to

enjoy coming here and telling me their life stories. Not that I don't want to hear them, I just think it is weird. I personally don't think I look like a "let me tell this guy my life story" kind of guy.

Cartoon Bandaids

are the coolest things ever invented. I don't even know why they have the plain ones. It is so much fun to have Scooby on my finger.

I got carded for buying spray

paint the other day. That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.