It is probably better

that facial expressions don't go through on a phone call. Telemarketers already hate me.

Pretty much anyone

who writes a check here is a woman. This is just something I have noticed. I think it is because checkbooks fit well in a purse and not it a wallet.

Maybe if they

took down all the deer crossing signs the deer wouldn't be tempted to cross the road. They could just stay on their side and be happy. What do you think?

I went skiing by myself

yesterday wore headphones because I didn't ride up the lift with any good conversationalists. I love that people assume you can't hear them when wearing headphones.

I am going through

skiing deprovation. The only skiing I have done this year was down the hill by my apartment, which I don't count as skiing. Being addicted to skiing is a really horrible thing when you live in South Eastern Ohio. 

I thought my fish

was dead yesterday morning because he was laying sideways on the bottom of his tank. I tapped on the glass and he didn't move. I fully expected him to be dead when I got home from work. When I got back, he was swimming normally and acted like nothing happened. Maybe he was asleep? Do fish sleep on their sides? I did ask him but I don't think he speaks english.

Mice are really

hard to use when you are on a desk with no room to move a mouse. I found that out today.

I can't stand DJs

of any kind. On the radio they only play one song off an album, they talk way too much, and they play the same songs over and over. Professional DJs are just plain annoying and I really shouldn't say all the stuff I don't like about them. I have a random function on my ipod that changes up the songs for me. The random function doesn't talk and it only plays the stuff I have on the player. DJ's of all types be warned. If I want to listen to talking I'll turn the radio to AM.

Why is it that the worst

drivers always hang out around big cities? Vehicles should come equipped with some kind of marking device (like a paintball gun) so that drivers can mark (shoot) a bad driver to warn other drivers that the marked person is a bad driver. I think I used the word "driver" too much.

I finally get a day

off tomorrow to be a tour guide in Dayton for an employee. I think I would be the worst tour guide ever. I would point out things like where I wrecked my bike in the snow going to Statics class and where some of my friends got sick. I recently found out that my favorite bar there burned down. It was kind of a dump anyway so maybe it is better that way. I mean that in the kindest way possible.

Yesterday, I forgot

to wear a belt to work so my pants kept falling down. I had to get a display down off the wall for someone and I think I mooned them. I apologise for that. On another note, if finally snowed here! I skiied down the hill by my apartment. Today is my Dad's birthday. Happy birthday dad!

Whenever I do this

blog, I always operate under the assumption that no one reads it so I don't limit my creativity. Today I found out that I have fans who check it almost every day. I will continue to operate under the assumption that no one reads it but it is nice to know people do and I wanted to say thanks. I think this is the only blog I have written with a point and with meaning. See, this is what happens when I find out people read it, I get boring. Thanks for pointing out that you read it. This is a very boring post. This is all your fault. I really hope I have something better for tomorrow after I have time to recover.

Who needs a garbage

disposal when you have a toilet.

When I drove to work

this morning the road was soaked with that weird snow melt liquid junk they use here in Ohio. I was really excited about this because I thought that ment it was going to snow. I checked at work and it said there was a ZERO percent chance of percipitation of snow today. Maybe the guys spreading the snow melt liquid junk should have checked the weather before spreading it ALL OVER THE ROAD!!

How can vegetable

soup be called vegetable soup when there is meat in it? I like meat so I don't have a problem with it but I might be offended if I were soup.

Every time it snows

or threatens to snow my landlord dumps bags of salt all over the sidewalks and porches around my apartment. I will seriously be walking on a quarter inch of salt and it always ends up in my apartment, which is annoying. Well, last night it got really cold and the rain that we have been having for the past week decided to freeze, turning my porch and the stairs to the sidewalk into an ice skating rink. So the one time this year that we actually needed the salt, there was none. This whole story is irrelevant to anything. Thanks for reading.

Some people

just don't get my stingray boot joke. I really should stop saying it as it is a bit "edgy." Althought, one day some one is going to get it and laugh their butt off.

I had a salad

today that I was told contained "fresh mozzarella cheese." Isn't fresh cheese an oxymoron? I suppose it is kind of like having fresh wine.

I always break

the most stuff while doing inventory. Who would have thought?

You know those tablets

that you put in the tank of your toilet that turn the water blue? They should make them in yellow too just for practical jokes.

The weather is playing with me.

It snowed today, so I was happy. Then it got warm and it melted, making me sad. I hope I get to go skiing this year and I can't wait to try out my all wheel drive on snow. I've always wanted to take a corner completely sideways...

In case you were wondering.

Yes, it is possible to have rice come out of your nose. Don't ask how I know that but use your imagination.

Christmas Tree

I have a friend who lives in a thrid floor apartment in Cleveland. He and his wife wanted to get a live Christmas tree but they both drive cars. So he rented a truck to get a tree. Since he rented a truck and because he has vaulted ceilings, he decided to get a monster tree to make it worth his time. When they got it back to their apartment, it was all wrapped up so he was able to drag it up the stairs. I got to see it, it was HUGE!! So I asked him in mid December "How do you plan to get that tree out of here?" He gave me a puzzled look and then replied, "I haven't yet thought of that." I asked him again yesterday how he managed to get the tree out. He said it was still in his apartment. I'm trying to get him to throw it off his balcony and take a video. I think he'll wuss out.

No Order

There is a new Sam's Club in Zanesville so I went there for the first time last night. That place is huge! Anyway, I was looking at their DVD collection when I saw one of my favorite movies "Snatch." Since I spent so much money on Christmas knew I shouldn't spend any more on things I don't need, so I rationalized; If they have the other movie that goes with "Snatch", "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" then I would go ahead and get both. I was looking around at the DVDs, trying to find it when I noticed they were not in any kind of order! Who does that? So I gave up because the isle went on forever and I did not want to waste my life away looking for a specific DVD I didn't really need. So if you work for Sam's Club, stop reading this and go organize your DVD section.

Grocery Shopping

I decided that I needed to go shopping yesterday after I realized the only food I had in my apartment were crotons and one package of ramen noodles. I actually made a list of food and went to the store after my martial arts class. So I am walking around in the isles getting stuff and marking it off my list when I notice that there is almost no one else in the store. I looked at my watch and it read 9:50pm, so I figured they must close at 10:00. Normally I am a really cheap shopper and get the least expensive brand of whatever I need (except tuna, I had a bad experience with tuna) but I decided that I needed to hurry up so I just started grabbing what I needed instead of being cheap. I finally found most of the stuff on my list and at 9:58pm I entered the checkout lane. They bagged and I paid and I started talking to the bagging guy. "So, ready to go home?" I asked. "yeah, but I still have an hour" he replied. It turns out they close at 11:00pm. I really wish I would have known that.

No More Holidays.

Don't you hate it when the holidays are over and you have to get back to normal life? It will be hard to adjust since the past 2 weeks have been one family gathering or party after another. It will be especially hard to get my pants to adjust correctly as well as it seems the holidays have made them tighter. Fortunately, I have a year to fix that.